Friday, September 10, 2010

Protip for Beer Drinkers!

I discovered this protip after I recently learned how to shotgun beers. I know it's strange that I only learned to shotgun beers after the age of thirty, but I'm hoping this tip will help you younger folks to consume many extra gallons of alcohol throughout your twenties. When I think of the alcohol I missed out on drinking because I didn't know this tip, I shed a tear. A tear made of beer.

So here it is. Before you start drinking, take some Gas-X. I use the generic version. The brand name's not important. What's important is that it contains something called simethicone. You know how beer gives you that uncomfortable full tummy feeling? It's because there's all kinds of foam in there. It's the same foam you see when you pour a glass of beer. The simethicone thins the walls of the bubbles in your tummy. The bubbles burst and you burp. Then you're not full and you can DRINK MORE FUCKING BEER.

You can thank me when you're thirty and you have liver disease.